Bed Time Woes

I was the same way when I was little, except my Dad absolutely REFUSED to let me sleep in their bed. So, they told me I could sleep on the floor. I probably slept in their room every night from the time I was 3 until I was 8 when we moved and their room didn’t have enough space on the floor by their bed. I would drag my blankie and my pillow to their room and that’s where I slept every night if I woke up. I have had to do the same thing with my oldest. He has a “special” bed and blanket by mom and dad’s room. Best thing is, he doesn’t wake us up, just comes and crashes on the floor. Good luck!

We had the same thing happen when we moved to a new place. For weeks our 2 year old would cry and then arrive in our bedroom – usually between 2 and 8 times a night. I tried lots of different tactics, but for her, I think in the end, it was the distance between our room and hers.

We tried night lights, music, leaving the light on outside all night, moving objects in her eye line out of the way that might look like beasties, etc etc. Took her back, stood our ground, we tried laying down in her room, but I think she just wanted to know someone was there.

We couldn’t do much about the distance between the rooms, but her baby sister now sleeps in with her and that has helped. Hope you find a solution to your sleep wanderer and waker!

Yep, a spot on the floor. Diplomacy and compromise.

I don’t know how big your room is, or how big Evie is, but a toddler bed next to your side where you can hold her hand but she can’t kick you. I coslept with my kids and my first didn’t want to leave (she also was a kicker). I used the bed next to mine as a step. The sleeping bag next to you might work, you can reach down to reassure Evie. Good luck! Sleep is my favorite thing. My 3 year old still wakes at night, usually to be covered up. Arg! Some day I will sleep through the night. By then, I will be old and have to get up and use the bathroom….

What works for us is to tell our 3 yo that we will be back to check on her in 5 minutes and she should stay in her bed. Make sure you remember to go check and then make the next interval a bit longer and so on. This gets her to relax and she knows we’re checking so she just stays put until she falls asleep. If she’s really having trouble you could start at 1 minute and work from there. I hear you on the co-sleeping. We’ve tried that in a couple extreme circumstances and I don’t get even a minute of sleep while we have someone in the bed.

We co slept our first daughter because she had a heart condition and if she got worked up would send her heart into a spasm, I couldn’t wake to her even with her crib within arms reach but could semi consiously wake to feed her during the night when she was in our bed, she stayed in our bed until she was 2 and then decided she was a big girl, our second daughter was a little trickier, she co slept a lot, due to my laziness really, I only got to ‘kick her out’ when I was expecting again, she too was/is a kicker and trasher so I couldn’t risk it. She settled nicely into her toddler bed at 2, but now almost 4, is again difficult, I have to lay with her to get her to sleep, which can take an hour, she often still comes in after she wakes at midnight for a toilet run. My twins are now 14 months… My best sleepers yet! My oldest is now 8 and is a great sleeper also until she night terrors when she is coming down with any sickness. Or has to wake for a midnight toilet run. I, like you, am hoping its a season that will pass quickly. We are being careful about what she is viewing on tv and are sure to pray with her every night which does help.

And like Kim, we have had a cot mattress on our floor a few times. When we made the point of not allowing tehy in our bed we put a mattress on the floor, it was a spare thin foam one, not exactly very comfortable but that’s the point. She would have a bit of a sook about it and either go back to her big comfy bed or try to sleep on the floor for a while before heading back to bed. You don’t want to make it a haven of comfort, it’s just a runner up thing, it teaches them to weigh it up, and they ultimately make that decision them self. You are just giving the options, 2 options, both of which won’t make you lose sleep!

Our little Curly Girl had this problem starting around 3.5 yrs and still does once in awhile (she’s only 5). She was terrified of the “fuzzies” (no idea what she meant).

We took a small bottle of body spray from bath & body works, and each night we would spray a small spray around each side of her bed. This was her “fuzzy spray” and would protect her from them.

Don’t know why, but it seemed to work.
And we always let her come into our room and tell her why she’s awake, and what is wrong, but after a few minutes cuddle, she has to go back to her own bed.
Because, yeah, I can’t sleep with a kid in my bed either!

with my daughters it works to let them come in if they need to but instead of sleeping with us, we go to their room with them. they get the comfort of having mom around and they fall back asleep. then I sneak out and they stay. eventually they stop coming in.

We went through the same thing and like others have said we told her it was fine to come in our room and sleep but she couldn’t get in the bed she had to sleep on a pallet on the floor. Worked like a charm….her sleeping on the floor that is:) she felt safe and we got our sleep! Best of luck to you!

Here is what has worked for us… “Ok sweetie, let me hug you.” Pat, pat, hug, hug. “Alright, now do you want me to bring you back to bed, or do you want to go yourself?” Sometimes, when they’re going through an independent stage, they choose to go back themselves! Another thing that works for us is to ask, “Do you want to sleep on the couch (in our room), or sleep in your bed?” Either choice is fine w us! One of our daughters was really persistent, and seemed to sneak in our bed when we were both too sound asleep to notice. She had been talking about a new bed that she wanted a lot. I had many conversations w her about getting a new bed. I asked her why would she need a new bed if she usually sleeps in ours anyway? I asked her if she would sleep in her new bed if we bought the one she wanted. She said yes. We bought her the bed. She stays in bed all night now! Hope you guys find what works for you soon! Interrupted sleep is no fun!

Wow. I just love all these suggestions. We have struggled with sleep issues with our two year old so much that we have an appointment with a child psychologist later today (I’ll update you if he has anything new to add). For Evie, you could try the toddler alarm clock route, or have you seen the Ladybug star light? It doesn’t work for us (with a 2yo) but might be good for her. Also, I second the recommendation of letting her sleep with one of the boys from time to time if they are willing. They may sleep harder than you, and it can be a special bonding time for the kids.

We have been going through this exact same thing with our Abby. I feel bad she’s scared but somethin’ has got to give. May we both find a solution soon and sleep again. Ha! I looove the pictures. Evie is darling!

When I was little, I was terrified of windows- convinced that a vampire would come thru them and kill me when I fell asleep. I was also equally convinced that two grown men hid in my doll house at night and would chop off all my hair while I slept if I let it fall over the edge of the bed. Wild creative imaginations are so hard to tame at night!! I would bolt for my parents bed constantly. My mom tried making me sleep on the floor as well, but then she couldn’t get up to pee without waking me up and starting the whole night fright again. So…she got me a net canopy for my bed. I could see thru it, to survey for vampires and such, but she had me convinced that she couldn’t see into the canopy- meaning I was invisible if I stayed in my bed with the canopy closed. Brilliant good luck with Evie!!

I have to admit my boy is generally a good sleeper, and this may not be helpful, but on occasion he has to be convinced to stay in bed at night and I’ve found that giving him a warm rice bag to hold (along with several bears) has been a big help. Somehow his warm thing is comforting and helps him fall asleep without further complaints. Hope you figure out something that works for her!

During the many years of raising 5 children, we often (almost every night?) had “someone” who wandered into our room during the night. I finally put pillows and quilts or sleeping bags on our carpeted floor right next to my side of the bed. When they woke up and came in crying or just woke me up, I would tell them gently that ” daddy was sleeping and we wouldn’t want to wake him up” so they could lie right next to me on the soft floor. I would many times hold the child’s hand until he/she or I fell back to sleep. Often, there would be 2 or 3 of the kids on the floor next to my side of the bed when I woke up in the morning. My husband and I quietly went about getting ready for the day as the kids slept and they were happy as clams to be there. We ALL got a good night’s sleep and they felt secure and and loved.

EVENTUALLY they all slept in their own beds ALL night long. We do cherish those memories, though, and talk about them, as a family, with fondness.
They are all grown now and we miss those days!! Remember–it really DOESN’T last forever.

Hi, my youngest of three has just turned 5 and I remember those dreadful, crowded nights and the compromised sleep BUT it doesn’t last that long and she will grow out of it. My feeling is you need to decide which battles in parenting to fight- and whether this is the one- and whether focusing on it will make it more of an issue. I guess you’ve tried the usual- one of you goes to her bed for the night, taking her back after a while, etc. My feeling is you don’t want your little girl to be scared and alone and letting her in is not the end of the world. It’s always a judgment call on whether or not your child is playing you or really upset. The best “practical” thing we did was use a sticker chart for night stayed in bed and a reward for a given number. Good luck.

We are just winding down from out 3 year old (who has never been the best sleeper) getting out of bed at least once every night. What got him down to once a night was a gentle bed time with lots of hugs and assurances that it’s ok to stay in bed. What got him to sleep the whole night with no interruptions on our part was a promise of a “special thing” in the morning when he didn’t get up in the night. He gets to choose from a special toy (we have a reserve just for that), a little bit of a movie (we don’t really watch any tv), or one of his treats. So far it’s working quite well. He’s gotten up twice since we started this system 2 weeks ago. Good luck!